February 7, 2013

{ Laying down the cards }

Dear all of you who take time to read this,

As you may have noticed I haven't been as active on the blog as I used to. Most of all there is a lack of outfit posts nowadays. Well there is actually a reason for this.

When I began blogging it was meant to be an online space to drop my creativity with the main focuss point on fashion and personal style. I have never had the intention to share my personal live online. However I feel that I should make an exception this time and I also feel that I owe some kind of explanation to you guys for this change in blogging quality and quantity.

I feel very fortunate that there are so many of you who share the same interest and who read my blog or either scroll through the pictures, for some daily inspiration when we dress ourselves or go out shopping. Many of you have been true followers for a long period of time and always take time to leave me a lovely comment after each post.
For me that is the evidence that blogging is not only a one way direction and a monologue of sending all kind of words and pictures into the world wide web. But it's a dialogue between people with the same interest, no matter the distance and places we live. I feel blessed to be able to not only experience this but also to be a part of it. This gives me a lot of positive energy! I always liked to interact with people and learn from different cultures. That was one of the reasons that I liked travelling and wanted a job as a flight attendant to achieve that.

Working as a flight attendant is a great job, it really is. However if you do not take care of yourself properly and set boundaries and listen to the signals your body sends you, it can result in a less postive situation.
That I had to encounter myself recently. Already for a long period of time (month's) I was feeling tired and kind of exhausted and used to whimp it off, neglect those feelings and just keep on going with whatever goals I had set for myself. Because that was the story of my life; I had a million things I wanted to do and not nearly enough time to even acomplish a part of that. Like most of us, time flies and we feel that we need 48 hours a day instead of 24 hours to come close to do the thinks we want and need ánd get enough rest at night. That is the kind of world we are living in nowadays. And the great wonders of internet and social media haven't made it easier to unwind and stay away from all that.

I was always looking forward, either to the next days off or to a vacation or holiday. This past summer it was looking forward to september, when my boyfriend and I took a two week vacation trip to Turkey. Because there I would rest, unwind (lack of internet connection) and reload my batteries and all would be fine. I did, I spent a lot of time sleeping either in bed or at the poolside (that way I could work on my tan as well; who said multitasking isn't great). The rest of the day we just spent a lot of quality time together and had a fab time! Finally I felt physically more relaxed and rested.

But back from our vacation trip we dropped back into our daily routines and work. Usually I had a diverse working/travel schedule, some times short trips with less days off that would alternate with trips with more days off, that way I had a balance and that was working for me. However due to lack off personal qualified for Airbus related flight, the ones that had the qualifications for this aircraft type ended flying only these flights, that meant busy and short flights and too little time off to truly rest.

Besides that I want to do a lot in the spare time I have. Mostly things any other person would that spends 7 days a week home (instead of travelling) but also run the blog and make it succesfull, have a proper social life, cocoon at home with my boyfriend and watch movies and hold tv-show marathons. Be the perfect home-cook, have everything perfect and tidy. Go work-out at the gym every possible day I'm home to achieve a fraction of the body of a Victoria Secret model. Always look fab with blow-dried hair, spend time reading my favourite magazines. Surf the web and read all the blogs I like and from the people that follow me and I follow back, leave comments on all those blogposts, because you know how much you like it when someone leaves a comment on yours. Go learn a new foreign language or take that photography course, go to sewing lessons etc. ect.

The workload I experienced these past months since the end of the september together with all the rediculous goals I always set myself led to the fact that when I got ill at the end of november with gastroenteristis (Litteraly translates to stomach flu in Dutch) I had to call in sick and recover.
When I arrived at the doctor and explained my situation she said that the gastroenteritis wasn't anything to worry about, that would pass, but the more worrying part was that she diagnosed the beginning of a burn-out. That was the cause of my total exhaustion. She said I was lucky this was the begin phase because the recovery period would take less time then when you had an actual burn-out.

As you can imagine, this was a rough pill to take in. Yes I was tired, but could'nt I just sleep it off in two weeks? How could this be, I mean there are people who live in for more stressfull situations, am I maybe making this up? I am only 28, isn't that too young to get near a burn-out? A lot of questions rose to my mind. In the end after some time I realised this was a wake-up call to try and change my behaviour, set boundaries and listen to my body, instead of ingnoring the signals and just keep going. The hardest part was to realise that it is impossible to live by such high personal standards and that I had to loosen up a bit and not try to chase perfection.
When you set yourself the goal to excersize 5 times a week, and you just reached 3 or 4 times, you will feel dissapointed, even though it is great you went all these times. Instead of being proud that you went 3 or 4 times, we punish ourselves (not litteraly) for not having been able to go five times. While when we set the goal to go two times a week. We will be happy when we go twice, and even more when we have time to go a third or fourth time! This is just a silly example but works with any goal we set ourselves.

Another thing is trying to live up to other people's expectations. Most of the times those expectations are set by ourselves, no one told us we had to do that. So it's like chasing a ghost. I always felt that whenever I read blogposts from my followers I had to leave a comment, but imagine if you read hundreds of post daily, how many comments those would be, for me besides working it is almost impossible to achieve. That made me feel guilty, which is silly. So for those out there whom I follow, I do read your posts, just know that I don't always leave a comment, even though I wish I could.


Well this all said, I hope thise gives a bit more perspective of the person and situation behind the blog Lolita in the Mix. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to get to know me a bit better, I hope I didn't bore you to much!
As for now, I am taking things slow and try to recover, pick up daily life routines and focussing on improving the blog for when I back and healthy! I hope you will follow me along.

Have a great day!

-xoxo- Lorena

115 comments:

  1. Good luck and God bless with your journey toward recovery and then on after that! Bloggng should make you happy; don't let it become another thing on a long to-do list! Well done addressing this burn-out problem before it really REALLY hurts you!
    Your readers will be here whenever you decide to grace us with your presence. ;)

    xoxox
    theefface.blogspot.com

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  2. Hola Lorena!
    Espero que te recuperes al 100%...tu blog es muy personal y estaremos esperandote para cuando estes lista!!

    Los mejores deseos de parte de las dos!!

    Besos!!!

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    Replies
    1. Gracias guapas por vuestras palabras tan bonitas y dando me esperanza! Gracias!

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    2. Lo primero es lo primero! Y nosotras estaremos aquí esperandote!

      Bsitos

      L.

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  3. Hey meid, ben wel even geschrokken dit te horen!
    Maar je hebt gelijk hoor, we proberen altijd alles perfect te doen, en 1000 dingen tegelijk gewoon omdat we die doelstellingen voor ons zelf maken. Af en toe is het inderdaad goed om even gas terug te nemen om tot rust te komen en je batterijen weer op te laden. Ik ben zelf ook bijna 5 maanden gestopt met bloggen omdat het teveel werd.
    Het is heel belangrijk naar je lichaam te luisteren, we hebben er tenslotte maar 1 hè! Maar je zult zien, wanneer je uitgerust bent en hersteld, zul je terug zin krijgen om allerlei dingen te doen die je blij maken.
    Heel veel sterkte, rust goed uit, neem tijd voor jezelf en breng tijd door met de mensen die van je houden tot je je weer "yourself" voelt!
    Heel, heel veel liefs en veel succes!

    XoXo Nathalie
    www.fashionablymade.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Dankjwel lieverd voor je liefdevolle woorden, they mean a lot to me!

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  4. Hey sweety, I read all of this and just thought I'd say thank you for your trust :) its really great that you also share the 'sad things' in life and I am sure you will be fine in the future. My life is quite stressful at the moment too. I feel like society just has ridiculous expectations! Be good at a job, have an awesome social life, look great all the time, work out at the gym...:oo It's an never ending to do list :(

    I wish you all the best!!! & that includes a full recovery xxx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you dear for your encouraging words! They mean the world!

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  5. Of course you need to take care of yourself! Burn out can happen to anyone and stress is just awful. Take your time to feel better and I'm sure that everyone will be there when you feel better!
    xo
    girlintheyellowdress.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for leaving such a sweet comment!

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  6. Love your blog :)

    www.berockbefashion.blogspot.com

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  7. ;( so sorry to hear this darling Lorena! i hope you get well soon and hope things get resolved quick so you are back on track and back in a good place in your life.
    Best wishes to my darling!
    XOXO
    yuliconversations.blogspot.com

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  8. Ánimo guapaaaa!te entiendo perfectamente!!tenemos estrés diario y a parte de nuestras vidas que ya nos ocupan mucho tiempo el tener un blog y querer llevarlo al día y contestar a todo y además todas las redes sociales buffff es demasiado.Yo hay días que me olvido de internet y luego vuelvo con fuerza a los tres días hago lo que puedo, siempre para distraerme porque es un hobby y encantada.Hay que entender que hay gente que tiene mucho tiempo para dedicarle al blog(gente que no trabaja)y es lógico que hagan de todo y tengan más éxito,pero para las demás con que nos divierta es bastante¿no?
    Un beso enorme y espero que te recuperes muy pronto!!
    Muaaaaak

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    Replies
    1. Gracias por tun animo y que compriendes mi situacion. No siempre es facil dividir el tiempo que tenemos entre las cosas que nos guste.

      Delete
  9. He meid!

    Goed geschreven hoor dat helpt vast enorm!!!
    Ik blog ook alleen wanneer ik tijd heb, in het begin vond ik dit ook heel moeilijk. Want je wil mensen toch graag voorzien van een leuke post en dat ze je blijven volgen. Ik lees ook heel veel maar reageer ook niet altijd, er gaat indd zoveel tijd inzitten.
    Ik wens je veel sterkte, het komt allemaal goed..

    liefs Lindy

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  10. your story sounded really familiar to me! I have always think that everyone expect so much from me and nothing is never enough...well now slowly I have started to realize that those expectations are only in my head; I'm the one who tries to reach the moon! So now I have been trying to slow down my doings and actually think what I really want...because before I didn't know what I really want...luckily for me this became before burn out ( but I was on the edge of it..) I'm happy that also yours burn out is on early phase and I think you will get better!! you sound that kind of person who will go over anything!! :D Just take time to yourself now :) and I'm really happy you shared this also in here ^^///

    xxxx

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    Replies
    1. It is indeed the expectation we set ourselves. Thank you for your supporting and comprehensive words!

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  11. No conocía tu blog! Es diferente muy personal. Me gusta.

    Mucho ánimo.

    Un besito

    http://elprobadordeloscaprichos.blogspot.com.es/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gracias guapa, espero que pronto si lanzo el "nuevo blog" te gustara mas ;-)

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  12. Tienes un blog estupendo, con post llenos de ideas y consejos.
    Me ha encantado!!
    Bss
    Carmen
    http://stylelovely.com/muffin/

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    Replies
    1. Gracias guapa, me gusta que te haya gustado!

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  13. Hi dear, it's normal, I sometimes feel the same, blogging must be fun first of all and you have to blog wen you have time and the will to do it.
    Don't Call Me Fashion Blogger
    Facebook
    Bloglovin'

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    Replies
    1. Yes I know! I must learn to not want to do more then I'm able too! Thank you!

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  14. Lorena, you're honesty and genuine attitude in that post is truly admirable! Thanks for sharing such personal information with us. I think its also a good reminder that no body is perfect and every one always goes through ups and downs in their lives and all you go do is keep going. I have no doubt in my mind that you will recover and it takes a lot to actually tell yourself that its time to change. Most people ignore it and don't do anything because they are afraid of change..so be proud of yourself! And try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You make such a good point. I think in todays society there is just too much competition etc and its just too fast and busy. People seriously need to slow down and take time to enjoy life. I hear it flashes by in the blink of an eye. Good luck with everything my dear xo

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    Replies
    1. Dear Lauren, Thank you so much for your supporting words! It gives me the right motivation to get better! Thank you!

      Delete
  15. I wish you speedy recovery! I think its great to begin listen to yourself! All that goals is not very important, its very important to enjoy every moment of your life, and no metter what are you doing, you better be 'here and now'
    I hope you will find the best activity behavior to have a strong health, warmth in home and relationship and self-expression on blog or other place!!!
    Love and Hugs!!!!
    http://beautyofheworld.blogspot.com

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  16. Amazing blog :) I follow You now and I hope that you like my blog too and follow back! Have a great day ❤

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  17. Love it,babe!
    xx
    B.
    http://www.beeswonderland.com/

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  18. sorry to hear but it perfectly normal. ups and downs are everywhere. take your time and we (your followers would be with you). blogging must be fun not heavy because after all you're doing it for fun not become popular/famous or earn money

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    Replies
    1. That is true, it is the expectations we set ourselves. Thanks for your supporting sweet words!

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  19. I totally understand you! I'm also going through the same thing! :(

    Love,Nyt
    www.bighairloudmouth.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! And I'm sorry to hear you are going through the same! Hang in there! I send you all my best!!

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  20. Animo guapa!!
    Besos
    http://todoeldiadecompras.blogspot.com

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  21. Hi dear, thanks for your honesty for bringing such an important topic to light. I am so sorry to hear you weren't well, your schedule sounds so hectic and its no wonder that the exhaustion and stress took its toll on you. I think it was your body's way of saying slow down and take it easy. Hang in there hun!

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    Replies
    1. When your body just can't manage anymore then you have no choice but to accept it and recover and try not to make the same mistake in the future again. Thank you for supporting me and being so kind!!

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    2. Thank you for your kind visit...hope things are looking brighter on your end hun!

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  22. Get well soon. Also, love the studs on the nails in the photos below. Thanks for posting and feel free to drop by me too when you have time.

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  23. Hi dear, this was so great to read. I knew you had a busy life as a flight attendant but never quite knew the extent of it. Please take good care of yourself, we love your blog but we love you even more. And if that means to disappear and spending some quality alone time then so be it. Thanks for being so open and sharing this. Hope you feel better soon.

    xx Jenee C.
    {camo meets couture}

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for being so sweet and comprehensive! It really feels great to get this kind of support and helps me get better! Thank you dear!

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  24. Amazing post! Happy holiday:)

    Check out my blog: http://theprintedsea.blogspot.de

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  25. I understand exactly how you feel. I have felt the same.
    Time is not enough to make new posts, answer comments, visit your friends' blogs and do everything else in your every day life. Have a rest and I hope all your dreams come true.
    I hope your health problems are over.

    http://www.beautyandthemist.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your sweet and supportive comment, it means a lot to me! I'm starting to do better. I'm sorry you have felt the same, I know it's not easy to live up to the standards we set ourselves in the multi media fast world we live in.

      Delete
  26. Thank you for being so honest. I totally understand where you are coming from. I think there are times when you just need to take time off for yourself- you are the most important person in your life and if you are not well, no one else will benefit from the amazing person that you are! I wish you much success and I will be here when you continue blogging!
    :)
    Allison

    A's Fashion Files
    Shop Kawaii Kitsch by A on Etsy, and get free domestic shipping with code FREESHIP

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  27. Hi! I just followed you with bloglovin:)
    Follow me back?

    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3880191

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  28. In love!!!

    Buona Domenica

    http://couturetrend.blogspot.it/

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  29. hope you feel better soon and make up your mind towards whatever direction you go in life... don't worry be happy :)
    Kisses from Miami,
    Borka
    www.chicfashionworld.com

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  30. I am new to the blogging world and just came across your site. This post hit home for me because I've been through a similar thing. Trying to chase perfection seems like a good thing, but it can make your health deteriorate. When I was in college, I tried to go to the gym every day and was obsessed with achieving perfect grades while maintaining a social life, and then one day I woke up in an ambulance! It turns out I had a seizure, and thankfully my boyfriend was there to call 911. I started having hundreds more within weeks, and was then diagnosed with stress induced Epilepsy and have been taking medication every day for 5 years because of this. Lesson learned::: Learn how to relax, breath, and not let things get you so stressed. Sorry to leave such a long post but I felt I had to share! Enjoy your life, even the imperfections! <3
    myunbuttonedblazer.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, a real eye opener! And it touched me that you trusted in me to share this! Thank you, it means a lot to me!

      Delete
  31. Sorry to hear this. I'll pray for you, get well soon! And no worries, I'll be here waiting for your next outfit post! :)

    Xo,
    Amor GLAMOROZA

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  32. Thank you for your comment! I hope you feel better and recover soon ;)

    landoflamz.blogspot.com

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  33. Wow jeetje.. Dat klinkt wel heftig!
    Gelukkig ben je erachter gekomen nu je in een begin fase zit.

    Heel veel sterkte!

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  34. Wapa! Cuando te leia me sentia identificada en ciertas cosas... son demasiados frentes a los que debemos atender y muchas veces no llegamos a todo y si llegamos por un determinado tiempo despues estamos reventados! Así que no te preocupes, tomate tu tiempo y dedicate a lo primero, así debe ser.. gracias por pasarte por mi blog y esperarre a q vuelvas.. abrazoss

    My blog By Joyce ♥

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  35. I am so sorry that you haven't been feeling well, you definitely need to take time for yourself and be okay to let a few things go. I love your posts but want you to feel better!!

    creamyclothes.blogspot.com

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  36. I so understand your situation. I want to do so man things in not so many time and get so angry if i fail, because I just need more time and be faster with everything and then I tend to sleep less to get near my goal. I know this si totally not healthy and now I see how bad it can become. I hope you can recover fast and learn how to be proud of what you reach, because I am sure it is muchmore than anybody elese manages I wll try to rememer that too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I think we all deal with the same nowadays in this world we live in. And I hope it will serve you as a warning that your health is so very important and you shouldn't push your borders. Thanks for your sweet comment!

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  37. take care of yourself dear, remember everything gets better as time flies! xx

    Letters To Juliet

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  38. Here's wishing you a speedy recovery! Sure you'll come back stronger and more refreshed than ever, and your blog will benefit as a result. At times like this, it's sooo important to put yourself first!
    xL

    www.themarcystop.blogspot.com

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  39. Espero te recuperes muy pronto y mucho animo, es solo una llamada de tu cuerpo, para que estes alerta!!! Yo deberia checarlo tambien, vivimos en este mundo lleno de estres, pero lo mas importante es tener fe que las cosas estaran mejor y aveces para un poco y escuchar lo que el cuerpo nos quiere decir !!!
    te mando un beso y abrazo fuerte!!

    Gaby

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  40. I'm very sorry to hear about all this. I'm wishing you the best and hope that you will recover very soon. It's so important to take time out for yourself as much as needed and when the time comes that you will be able to blog again, I will be here waiting looking forward to reading your lovely posts again :) Take care of yourself, Lorena. xx

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    Replies
    1. Thnak you dear for understanding and being so loyal, it means a lot to me!

      Delete
  41. Really like your blog .... I wd really like to follow your blog ... Plz follow back

    htttp://makeupohlic.blogspot.com/?m=1

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  42. Hi Lorena, hope that you're doing well hun, hows work going? Thanks for your opinions on my Oscar post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your reply, thats crazy...three hours just to travel to work! Wow, it does sound terribly exhausting, hope that things will calm down soon for you, Hope you're getting a chance to rest a bit in between. Take it easy hun!

      Delete
  43. Great post!

    Baci e Buon Martedì!


    http://couturetrend.blogspot.it/

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  44. we are riding a wave in this life, full of ups and downs! can't wait til you get "up" again, we support you so take your time and enjoy the short time we have on this earth! xoxox

    Gisela
    www.heightsoffashion.com

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  45. This was so intersting to read. I am the newest follower of your blog, I hope you can look at mine sometime X

    mypinkhotpants.blogspot.com/

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  46. Hi meis,
    Hier ben ik dan :)
    Vanaf nu ga ik je ook volgen!
    Heel veel beterschap!!!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  47. Get better soon! But from what I can read, you are strong and can get through anything! :) I am now following your blog :) come check out my euphoric styles and follow if you like :) xoxo--MUMU

    www.euphoricfashiontrends.blogspot.com

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  48. How have you been lately? I was hoping you had time to upload a new post since this last one but I don't see any which makes me think that you're still in recovery mode. Sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts and well wishes. If you use instagram, come and find me @jeneechen so we can chat more often :)

    xx Jenee C.
    {camo meets couture}

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  49. Hola guapa
    Joo.. pues espero que vuelvas pronto al 100%
    Te mando todos mis ánimos desde aquí
    Un besazo

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  50. Te sigo por Instagram!
    ÁNIMO y calma...sobre todo paciencia. Así es este mundillo.

    Kisssssssssssss
    Leire

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  51. Veel beterschap meid, het komt allemaal wel goed :)

    Love from Amsterdam!

    http://juicyconfashions.blogspot.com

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  52. praying for a speedy recovery!!!

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  53. It's nice to get to know you a bit more. You've got a great Blog.

    Would you like to follow each other? Just let me know ;)

    Kisses from the UK :*
    http://todaymyway.com/

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  54. Lovely blog you got going on here! Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us! I would love to see you around my blog some time and maybe follow each other!
    Stay in touch!

    xx

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  55. COME BACK DOLL!
    WE MISS YOU!
    BORKA
    www.chicfashionworld.com

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    Replies
    1. Agree! We miss you :(
      YuliConversationS.blogspot.com

      Delete
  56. Burn out es lo peor y te entiendo la salud es lo primero as todo despacio yo igual a veces me siento culpable de no escribir ah todos pero a veces no se puede no hay tiempo pero me alegro q estes descansando un poquito más porq trabajo y la combinación con blogging es complicado te deseo lo mejor y q te recuperes pronto con razón q ya te eh extrañado por intagram besitos y sterkte meid .
    veel liefs
    virgit

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  57. Hey you´ve a great blog.
    Please check out mine!
    And if you want we can follow each other here,
    on bloglovin and via GFC?
    Let me know!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  58. You have actually created some excellent points here. It is highly evident with greatest appreciation and that will keep you excited with more of unique blog posts. Thank you for sharing this useful information.


    Cotton Bags



    ReplyDelete

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